they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
