Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I think my moral compass just broke
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
