i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
