i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you win again, gameday.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
