Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
