I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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