I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
