I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
