sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
