Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Randomize
