you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
