Im at strip club and am horny
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
