Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
two words...techno handjob
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
