I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
