Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You can't just leave with hair like that
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
