I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
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