Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
