i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
