Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he thought i was a dude.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
