I am puke
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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