I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
