please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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