Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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