so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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