I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
