the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
