I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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