Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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