question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
