do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
