Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
