Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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