But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
