my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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