He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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