my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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