I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
