Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
The ass gains better be worth it
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