Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
