The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
