When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
