I am spending my child support on dildos
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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