first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
