nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
