ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
