I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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