Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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