nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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