But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
