i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
