Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
