no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
