girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
