That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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