are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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