She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
